“it sliced right through me”

When poet Christian Wiman was diagnosed with cancer, he knew he believed in something, but “what,” he writes, “was considerably less clear.” His book My Bright Abyss is a collection of ruminations on faith, belief, love, death, and grief.

As a poet, he often includes excerpts from his own writing along with stanzas from both lesser and well known poets and theologians. As someone in my book club aptly observed, this “complicates” things. But reading this book wasn’t meant to be a simple matter of sitting down and opening it. His musings and interweaving of other writings makes you pause, think, reread, take notes, reread, and breathe.

As a recent episode of this show proposes, some things are meant to be savored. This book is one of them.

“Christ is God crying I am here, and here not only in what exalts and completes and uplifts you, but here in what appalls, offends, and degrades you, here in what activates and exacerbates all that you would call not-God.”

“heaven could just be a fog machine in Orlando”

I rediscover the podcast On Being every few years. This time around, I stumbled onto a series within the series called The Future of Hope. The first interview was between journalist Wajahat Ali and theologian Kate Bowler.

This led me to Kate Bowler’s memoir Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved. At the center is how she responds to the news, as a young mother, that she has stage 4 cancer. As a professor of theology at Duke Divinity School (as well as a student of the prosperity gospel), she is surrounded by prayer, yes, but also plenty of empty platitudes.

If you’ve ever wondered what to say, or what not to say, to someone experiencing loss, that in itself is a good reason to open this book. But as you read, you’ll also find yourself reflecting on suffering, the perspective of time, and, with good humor, a little hope.  

"we will experience times of great inner emptiness"

Last fall, I was invited to join a book club with some Benedictine oblates. This month’s selection was The Forgotten Desert Mothers written by one of the Benedictine sisters, Laura Swan.

As Swan writes in the preface, “Women’s history has often been relegated to the shadow world: felt but not seen. Many of our church fathers became prominent because of women. Many of these fathers were educated and supported by strong women, and some are even credited with founding movements that were actually begun by the women in their lives.”

Swan begins by outlining the cultural context of these women as well as a description of what is meant by desert spirituality. She then shares and comments on the sayings of more well-known desert mothers such as Syncletica and Theodora, and catalogues the brief biographies of nearly 40 lesser known women who chose this ascetic life.

Especially as we experience the liturgical desert of Lent, these women have much wisdom to share on humility, grief, anger, overindulgence, and self-awareness.  

“When I encountered the ammas,” Swan writes, “they made sense of the desert in my life.”

Writers Written

Lately I’ve been following this Insta account, which as the name implies, frames the artist as subject. I then realized I’ve read several books in the past few weeks which feature real life writers as fictional characters.

Love and Fury by Samantha Silva

This novel examines the life of Mary Shelley’s mother, Mary Wollstonecraft, an early feminist who wrote about women’s rights in the 1700s. Her unconventional relationships, interest in the natural world, and tumultuous childhood are given a lyrical treatment by Silva. The birth scene that opens resignedly, “Another girl. In this world” ends with celebration, “Another girl, in this world!” And if you haven’t read Silva’s Mr. Dickens and His Carol, what the deuce!

The Sentence by Louise Erdrich

The only thing that gets Tookie through her period of incarceration was books. She lands a job in a Minneapolis bookstore and has a ready recommendation for anyone who walks through the door. That includes her most challenging customer, Flora, who upon death, decides she’s not ready to leave. As Tookie deals with Flora’s presence, and a powerful book she left behind, the bookstore’s owner, an author named Louise, must figure out how to keep the store running as a mysterious virus begins spreading. (Did I mention this is 2020?) Darkly humorous, the novel presents the events that are so fresh in our memories from the perspective of the essential employees who kept many of us sane, booksellers. And reflects on how the Native community responded as the racial reckoning erupted.

good friday

To provide context for today’s (re)post I invite you to listen to this excerpt from This American Life.

Through collage and watercolor illustrations by Bryan Collier, Martin’s Big Words tells the story of Martin Luther King, Jr. Stained glass windows, church steeples, and the American flag illustrate Martin’s message that “everyone can be great.” We read of bus boycotts, marches, bomb threats, accolades, and finally the assassination. A concise history of the great man’s life and work that will have you flipping back through the pages even after your listener has drifted off to sleep.

Martin’s Big Words Words by Doreen Rappaport and Pictures by Bryan Collier

Armchair Travels

COVID travel restrictions have you down? No worries. Two fabulous destinations await!

France and Spain: Two Steps Forward by Anne Buist and Graeme Simsion

Two unlikely pilgrims end up on the French portion of the Camino de Santiago. Zoe has flown to France from California to see an old friend after the unexpected death of her husband. When a scallop charm catches her eye in an antique store, she decides spontaneously to try the walk. Martin, an English engineer, meanwhile has decided he wants to test out a prototype of a pull cart along the route. Martin is methodically equipped with GPS equipment and plans to make reservations at plush accommodations along the way. Zoe has little more than the clothes on her back. In alternating chapters, we follow both as they interact with a common group of fellow travelers, local hosts,  and eventually, each other. This charming account will have you rooting for their success even as the definition of what that means changes with each kilometer traveled.

The Holy Land: The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd

As a young girl growing up in the first century, Ana has to beg her father to be taught to read and write. Eventually, she begins writing down the stories of women on carefully guarded scrolls. Upon the news she is to be betrothed to a widower, she goes to the caves outside of town intending to hide the scrolls her parents plan to destroy. It’s there she first encounters Jesus. And dear reader, she marries him. As political tensions rise, Ana becomes caught up in the drama and must flee to Alexandria. There she discovers a haven of writers and scholars. If you are anxiously waiting the second seasons of this show, this book is a must read.

Thou shalt have no other…

 “Mom, can I believe in the Greek gods and still be Catholic?” asked my 10-year-old the other day.

After reminding him about a little list called the Ten Commandments, he seemed satisfied with my answer of “Ummm…No.”  

Apparently I have this series  to blame thank for so successfully capturing his imagination.

Romero

“If they kill me, you can say that I forgive and bless those who do it. Hopefully they will be convinced it is a waste of time. A bishop will die, but the Church of God, which is the people, will never perish.” - March 1980

Blessed Oscar Romero, the Archbishop of San Salvador martyred in 1980, is scheduled to be canonized on October 14.

In celebration, I offer a brief list of biographies, compilations of his writings, and reflections to inspire us all. Thanks go to my colleague Joe Hastings for the recommendations.

Biographies

Oscar Romero and the Communion of the Saints by Scott Wright

An accessible biography for readers of all ages, illustrated with quotes and photographs

Romero: A Life by James R. Brockman

A biography published nine years after his death

Writings

Archbishop Oscar Romero: Voice of the Voiceless

A collection of his four pastoral letters

Oscar Romero: The Violence of Love

A selection of his sermons

Reflections

Oscar Romero: Memories in Mosaic by Maria Lopez Vigil

A compilation of interviews with peasants, friends, theologians and pastoral associates

Oscar Romero: Reflections on his Life and Writings by Marie Dennis, Renny Golden, and Scott Wright

A reflection by three faith activists on the 20^th anniversary of his death

Blessing in Disguise

The Herdmans are notorious for smoking cigars, setting things on fire, and having a pet that requires a “Beware of Cat” sign. As the narrator says in Barbara Robinson’s The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, “We figured they were headed straight for hell by way of the state penitentiary…until they got themselves mixed up with the church, and my mother, and our Christmas pageant.”

Lured to church by the promise of free refreshments, the six Herdman siblings show up at the first rehearsal for the Christmas pageant. Before anyone realizes it, all of the starring roles have been assigned to the various Herdmans. “And there they sat. The closest thing to criminals that we knew about, and they were going to represent the best and most beautiful.”

There’s only one problem. They’ve never heard the Christmas story before. As the pageant director patiently tells the story, the siblings interrupt asking her to explain manger, swaddling clothes, Wise Men, and myrrh.

“’And, lo, the Angel of the Lord came upon them,’ Mother went on, ‘and the glory of the Lord shone round them, and ---‘

‘Shazam!’ Gladys yelled, flinging her arms out and smacking the kid next to her.”

Eventually they make it to the dress rehearsal but fail to run through the whole play. On the night of the pageant, the whole town shows up to see just what the Herdmans are going to do. When Joseph and Mary are late for their cue, everyone figures they forgot. However, a few minutes later the disheveled couple show up in the doorway. Mary pauses to burp the baby and they make their way up the aisle. Some are appalled that Jesus gets burped, but the narrator comes to some realizations that will change her perception of the Holy Family forever.  Jesus could have been a colicky baby. After all he “was born and lived…a real person.” And Mary “is always going to look a lot like Imogene Herdman – sort of nervous and bewildered, but ready to clobber anyone who laid a hand on her baby.”

The story is not about a peaceful scene you might find on a Christmas card, but it’s “about a new baby, and his mother and father who were in a lot of trouble – no money, no place to go, no doctor, nobody they knew.”

And long after your daughter has finished the book, she’ll randomly, gleefully yell out the Angel of the Lord Gladys’ immortal words,” Hey! Unto you a child is born!”

“A story of alienation, political tyranny, homelessness, working-class people, pagans, and angels"

This is how Nadia Bolz-Weber describes Christmas in her book Accidental Saints: Finding God in All the Wrong People.

As I was reading this book, I was getting ready to give a presentation to the youth group at our church. For me, this is a tough audience especially when my lesson plans include info on, yes, World Soil Day. In the days leading up to the presentation, I kept daydreaming about coming down with food poisoning, having to help my kids with a last minute school project, or being stuck in a freakish blizzard.

And then I read this:

“We make lame excuses to get out of commitments, or we blame other people for the fact that we can’t show up. But sometimes we create these smoke screens to divert attention from the truth of our own decisions and shortcomings.” 

Huh.

Bolz-Weber herself writes about dreading a speech she has to give at a youth conference. On the plane ride there, she encounters a young teen in the seat next to her who makes her realize that her connection with this other person was a message from God:  “Oh hey, God told me to tell you something: Get over yourself.”

I, too, got over myself and survived the presentation despite a few rowdy junior high boys and a mildly lackluster “discussion period.” I was even invited back next month. Hopefully, I won’t be as anxious the second time I stumble my way through. As Bolz-Weber writes, “Never once did Jesus scan the room for the best example of holy living and send that person out to tell others about him. He always sent stumblers and sinners. I find that comforting.”

So do I.

Listen to an interview with the author here.

Read a report on how we gather in community here.

Interested in books on simple living, spirituality, community, and social justice? Find a list here.

Advent

My daughter had to give a presentation at school about her family’s holiday traditions. She chose to talk about Advent. When she had finished speaking, a boy in her class raised his hand and asked, “Do you still celebrate Christmas?”

Actually, this year we may be just celebrating Christmas since, in the move, I’ve managed to misplace our Advent wreath, children’s nativity set, and Advent calendar, a book called The Storyof Christmas. 

Those objects are replaceable of course, but one of the nice things about traditions is unpacking the ones you have used year after year. The corners may be dog eared, the wreath may be splattered with pink and purple wax, and the donkey may be missing a tail, but that is part of what makes them yours.

Whether you are starting a new tradition or supplementing an old, perhaps one of these books will add to your Advent season:

The Light of theWorld: Daily Meditations for Advent and Christmas by Phyllis Zagano

Advent of the Heart: SeasonalSermons and Prison Writings - 1941-1944 by Alfred Delp

A Gift for the ChristChild: A Christmas Folktale by Anne Wilson and Linda Schlafer

Manger edited by Lee Bennett Hopkins

Light Upon Light: ALiterary Guide to Prayer for Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany compiled by Sarah Arthur

Who Built the Stable?: A Nativity Poem by Ashley Bryan

Pretty Paper by Willie Nelson and David Ritz

Faith and Politics

“Read a book about politics in your country” seemed appropriate for this week’s challenge.

I first came across Sojourners when I became a Jesuit Volunteer. Every house had a subscription to the magazine that included articles on faith and justice. The founder, Jim Wallis, has written several books, so I turned to him for week’s challenge.

The Great Awakening explores the idea that some of our country’s largest reforms such as the civil rights movement have come out of religious faith. His book is both field guide (chapters include How to Change the World, and Why: Rules of Engagement) and call to action on the day’s issues (poverty, hunger, environmental collapse, race, family, war). Admittedly when faced with chapter after chapter of issue after issue it can all become a little overwhelming. That’s his point, I think. Being a person of faith shouldn’t be comfortable.

He ends the book with a chapter on hope and the passion of the kids he meets who want to solve specific problems. “When the really big offences are finally corrected, finally changed, it is usually because something has happened to change our perception of the moral issues at stake…the moral contradiction we have long lived with is no longer acceptable to us.”

So as I look to my eight-year-old who was disappointed when Bernie dropped out of the race and asked me if Hillary’s husband was once president. And I look to my eleven-year-old who indeed finds the idea that some kids don’t get to go to school or have to walk miles for fresh water unacceptable.

And others, as Wallis mentions, who are “bright, gifted and committed.” 

Strange New Things

After living with the placid, almost chilly, weather of Washington for the past six months, the heat humidity of South Texas came as a shock last weekend. Although I was grateful for the wind (keeping the mosquitoes at bay), it too was a reminder of the extremes of Texas weather. As we battled the sandy wind while walking along the muddy beach, the squelch of each footstep brought to mind a book I recently finished about a missionary who finds himself in an alien (literally) environment.

My choice for this week’s reading challenge to read a book about religion was The Book of Strange New Things by Michel Faber.  A global corporation, USIC, has chosen Peter, the pastor of a small congregation in England, to serve as their new missionary at an outpost on another planet. Although sad to be leaving his wife Bea, Peter excitedly boards a ship to the new world. 

Expecting the native population to be indifferent at best, hostile at worst, he is pleasantly surprised to find a healthy devotion to Jesus and familiarity with the Bible, which they refer to as the Book of Strange New Things.

Although most of the engineers and other tech workers of the USIC compound prefer the sterile air conditioned environment of the base, Peter comes to welcome the humid, windy conditions of life with the natives. As his relationship with the natives grows, his connection with his wife weakens. Bea, back on Earth, is dealing with the collapse of the economy and the environment. Peter is at a loss of comforting Bea via email even as he works to comfort those close to him.

My favorite passages in the book were those in which Peter is trying to translate Biblical metaphors into language that can be understood to someone who has never seen a lamb nor can pronounce many English consonants. My least favorite part was seeing how easily a married couple can disconnect. Electronic communication fails miserably when their daily experiences have become so foreign to each other.

This book is a testimony to the support faith can give in times of joy and suffering, but also serves as a reminder that we need the love and support of our human connections as well. 

40 days

For Lent this year, my son's Sunday school teacher has him on a "SecretAgentSpyMission" to do kind things for others and acts of thanksgiving.  When I caught him sweeping up his graham cracker crumbs after his snack (without being asked), he said it was his mission for the day. This morning's mission apparently was not to "get sent off line" at school. Apparently his Sunday school teacher is onto something.
 

I have my own mission this Lenten season - being present. I suppose this means turning off the car radio while I drive, listening to my kids without making a to-do-list in my head, eating while sitting in a chair (preferably at a table), breathing to hear myself breathe, and praying. Since I always need a way to focus on the last one, I'm turning to Ignatius - by way of Tim Muldoon's The Ignatian Workout for Lent.

Each day's exercise has a scripture reading with reflection, and suggestions for prayer and action. This sentence felt relevant today:  "Our faith is that God knows us better than we know ourselves, because we can only see what happens moment to moment."  Perhaps it was because my mind was already mulling these other words I played for my students' exam today:

           

 "Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever." 

I guess for me, the whatever category is God. Most days, if I'm present.